An Alternative Caribbean Tour for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge
In March 2022, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge — aka Prince William and his wife Kate — visited Belize, Jamaica, and the Bahamas as part of Queen Elizabeth II’s jubilee celebrations. Among other things, William and Kate faced criticism as representatives of these countries’ former colonial overlord; their decision to tour a holiday destination when many Brits at home were forced to choose between heat or food; as well as their visible discomfort around people of colour. Their thin schedule — with many engagements that resembled holiday activities — also raised eyebrows.
This alternative tour contains engagements that the Cambridges did in real life, as well as additional imaginary events. It is intended to highlight tourism/local culture, conservation, local charities, and historical links between the West Indies and United Kingdom. That said, the best tour would have been a non-existent one. I think it’s a matter of politeness to refrain from inviting yourself over to someone’s house when they’ve asked you not to come.
The point of this article is to show that an unemployed anti-monarchist could do as good a job or better than the people who were responsible for planning the Cambridges’ real itinerary.
Events that they did on the real tour are bolded.
Belize
Day 1
Having departed Heathrow on a private jet at 6 a.m., the Cambridges arrive at Belize City just before noon. Events proceed much as they did in real life but earlier in the day. They are greeted on the tarmac, William inspects the troops, and then they are off to meet with Prime Minister Johnny Briceno and the First Lady.
In the evening, they host a dinner at the UK embassy for local charities, government officials, and community leaders.
Day 2
For their morning engagement, the Duke and Duchess visit the Che’il Mayan Cacao Farm and Factory.
They have arranged separate engagements in the early afternoon. Given Kate’s interest in early childhood and education, she visits a bilingual school. During her time in the classroom, she learns some phrases/words in Garifuna and then joins the students during recess for games. Later, in a 5-minute film posted on the royals’ social media accounts, she speaks about the importance of language and culture in forming children’s senses of security and identity. She also talks more generally about how learning another language opens a door to another view of the world.
William meets with Garifuna community leaders to learn more about land stewardship, the challenges that indigenous communities face in the modern world, and how outsiders can best support indigenous people to preserve their culture, traditional knowledge, and language.
In the late afternoon, the Duke and Duchess attend a Garifuna festival. Kate practices some of the Garifuna phrases that she learned earlier in the day during her visit to the school, and both she and William dance with locals.
Day 3
In the morning, the Cambridges meet with reef conservationists and environmentalists at a beach cleanup. Two teams, one headed by the duke and the other by the duchess, compete to see who can collect the most trash. Plastic waste in the ocean is a major problem in Belize, and this engagement is meant to highlight the efforts of local organisations to deal with it. A short film from this event is posted on their social media.
In the afternoon, the Cambridges join a biodiversity scuba dive led by a conservation NGO. They’re also taken to see a reef that has been decimated by lionfish and watch a demonstration of spearfishing, which is used to keep the population of these fish under control. Their dinner tonight at a local restaurant will feature lionfish, with a photo of the meal and explanatory text about the fish’s invasive status posted on their social media.
Day 4
This day did not exist on the real tour.
The Cambridges’ first stop this morning is Caracol Natural Monument Reservation, where they are given a tour of the Mayan ruins. The subsequent video on social media plays up the fact that William is a future king visiting the palace of an ancient king, but also features interviews with archaeologists, who explain the significance and history of the ruins.
Afterwards, William attends a training session of the British Army Training Support Unit, which prepares British soldiers for tropical warfare. Kate, meanwhile, heads to the town of San Ignacio, where she meets with some of the street artists who painted the town’s murals. They speak about the motivations behind their art as well as how the murals have affected locals’ experience and perception of public spaces. Later the duchess is spotted at the Farmers’ Market. She posts several photographs of the murals and market across the Cambridge social media accounts.
In the evening, the Duke and Duchess attend a reception at the Mayan ruins at Cahal Pech.
Jamaica
Day 1
Arriving from Belize, Kate and William meet the Governor General (the queen’s representative in Jamaica) and attend a “sports and cultural event” at Trench Town Culture Yard.
In the evening, the Duke and Duchess meet the Jamaican Prime Minister, who tells them that “We’re very, very happy to have you and we hope you’ve received a warm welcome of the people…Jamaica is, as you would see, is a country that is proud of its history and very proud of what we have achieved. And we’re moving on and we intend to… fulfil our true ambitions and destiny to become an independent, developed and prosperous country.”
William gives a speech. On this alternative tour, the speech was prepared beforehand with the knowledge that republican sentiment runs high in Jamaica. As in real life, he stops short of apologising for the royal family’s role in the slave trade, but (unlike in real life) he manages to hit enough of the right notes to avoid coming across as a condescending colonialist: He’s happy to see democracy in action here— the rights to peaceful protest and free speech are incredibly important, and will serve the country well in the future. Of course, the Duke and Duchess will be sad to see Jamaica become a republic, but the democratic process/will of the people must be respected. They commend the country’s impetus to turn the page on the past. William concludes by emphasising his support for Jamaica no matter what path it chooses in the future.
Day 2
In the morning, Kate opens a photography exhibit at The National Gallery of Jamaica. In her speech, she talks about the importance of art in a world ever more obsessed with an activity’s potential for monetization; the cognitive benefits of creative pursuits; and why she herself loves photography. Before leaving, she purchases some small souvenirs from the gift shop for her children.
While Kate is at the National Gallery, William goes hiking with Search and Rescue volunteers. They tell him about their training, previous missions, and motivations for volunteering. A video from this engagement is later posted on the Cambridges’ social media.
In the early afternoon, the Duke and Duchess visit a hospital. They talk with everyone — from cleaners to doctors to the CEO — about the challenges that they faced during the pandemic. They also meet patients with long Covid, who tell them about their struggles to return to “life as normal.” William reveals that it took him several months to return to full strength after he was infected in April 2020. (To be clear, we don’t know how William has fared since having Covid; I’m just making this up as a way for him to connect with people. However, we do know that his illness was not made public at the time and that the palace refused to comment on the severity of his illness when the story broke in November 2020. An anonymous source told People magazine that “at one stage he was struggling to breathe.”)
For their final engagement of the day, William and Kate go to a Covid vaccination site. Jamaica’s vaccination rate is lagging, and the government has been running a public health campaign to get more people vaccinated. William and Kate hand out lollipops to children who get the jab, speak with adults about the importance of getting vaxxed, and share their own vaccination experience. It’s a simple thing that doesn’t just protect you as an individual, the Duchess says; it also protects others around you. In a break with protocol, they take selfies with anyone who asks.
Day 3
In the morning, William visits the Carib Cement Company to see how the facility recycles scrap tyres into fuel for cement production. There are estimated to be millions of scrap tyres in Jamaica — disposed of not only in landfills but also dumped in nature and urban areas. William talks about the goal of a circular economy, and, of course, promotes the Royal Foundation’s Earthshot Prize.
Kate attends a local football match between youth teams. She blows the whistle to start the match and is seen in the stands applauding good plays. Alternately, if Day 3 on this tour is not Saturday or Sunday, she attends a gym class at a local school and joins the kids on their drills.
The Duke and Duchess visit Liberty Hall together in the early afternoon.
Later, they attend a poetry slam at the British embassy. (The US embassy hosted a similar event in 2014.) They present cash prizes to winners and two runners-up in each category. After the tour, a chapbook with participants’ work is printed with an introduction written by William. The Duke and Duchess sign some copies for charity auctions. All proceeds from regular sales go to local charities.
After the poetry slam, they host a very informal reception with all participants.
I had originally planned to build the “new and improved” tour around events from the real tour; however, since so many of their engagements fell flat and I ended up having to invent so many alternatives, just thinking about scheduling three days for them in the Bahamas exhausts me. Briefly, however, I would have included a climate change roundtable with Caribbean ministers of environment; a beach tour showing the effects of climate change (erosion, fiercer storms, and rising sea levels); and the unveiling of an endowed chair in political science or environmental science at the University of the West Indies, funded by the Royal Foundation.
Thanks for reading! Maybe you’d like to check out my other articles about the British royals:
